Why, it's practically Christmas!
Now don't pfft pfft me...you'll hear that from me 4 more times until you KNOW it's Christmas!
It has been over a month since I re-homed Igor and I feel no better than the first day he was not with me. I miss his handsome, aquiline face. I miss the doleful eyes that followed me everywhere I went. I miss his warmth and weight against my leg as he waited for me to decide to get out of bed. I miss how he would slide over me so he could snuggle up against my belly. I suppose I will always miss him.
There's a quote on how dogs teach us about love and one can never be replaced so each one expands one's heart. No one can ever replace Igor. His space in my heart will always be his and it will never shrink. Even as my other babbies come to give me love, the ache from Igor's absence can never be appeased.
I worry about him every minute. It doesn't matter that I know he will be treated well in his new home. It doesn't matter that he might be happier there... How can he be when I am not there? His mommy is not there and I know he is wondering what he did wrong for me to leave him. Am I being selfish? Am I being inconsiderate? I try to see the good side of it but it is all immaterial because I will never stop regretting I re-homed him. I failed to be his mommy until the end of his short life... he who gave me nothing but love and devotion.
My life may seem to be going on in the same old unremarkable way but there is gloom in one area. There is a dead spot in my heart. There is a deep wound in my soul that will bleed eternally.
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