I Pretend

I play pretend a lot.

I pretend everything is hunky dory.

I feel expendable and unimportant at work so I pretend I don't care anyway I am paid well so never mind if I feel like I have reached the end of the line and there will be no more progression from here.

I feel neglected by yep, you so I pretend I'm understanding and that I am happy with what little time he gives me. I didn't get to see the light show because I wanted him to go with me... oh well, there will be another one next year.  I haven't eaten at X restaurant because I want him to go with me.. oh, well, I'm getting fat anyway.

These little things eat away at my well-being like termites gnawing on the mighty trees of the jungles. Very slow, but in time, destruction will be inevitable.

When I smile because I'm pretending it is fine, a tiny part of me dies. A tiny spark fizzles out.  A wee bubble pops.

Someday, I will be wan and it will not be pretend.