Yesterday, I confided in Thor that I sometimes fear that he will tire of me because I am intellectually apathetic and that I feel he simplifies or skims when he speaks of topics he's interested in because he thinks I will not absorb it. He sometimes just drops it. He does it not because he thinks I'm stupid but because he knows it does not interest me. It's not my fault he's voracious for knowledge and is never content with simple information but researches and cross-references with other materials. His mind to information is a school of hungry piranha to a chunk of meat. He attacks it until it is fully consumed.
One of my friends, Dr. JB, told me to be in love with someone is to be in awe. I guess this is true. If I were not in awe with Thor, he would not enthrall me. If he were an ordinary guy he would simply be that to me with opinions and thoughts to be dismissed. Unlike now that I am besotted so I exert feeble effort to keep up with his interests. I do Google and read at least 30 words of any topic.
He told me my fear saddened him. Maybe he fears he will bore me with too much information and then I will treat him like an ordinary guy? Perhaps someday, I will yell for a cup of coffee to keep me awake while he speaks about his topic for the day?
My practical, jaded side whispers in the back of my head. She's muttering something about what the hell is all this ruckus about when this is all temporary so drop whatever worries me and bask in the glory of our passion afterall it will eventually wane, fade and die. Flip your hair, fix your push-up bra and don't think about it because it is a bunch of nonsense. Que sera, sera.
Isn't she ever so wise?
Already?!?
Why, it's practically Christmas!
Now don't pfft pfft me...you'll hear that from me 5 more times until you KNOW it's Christmas!
My little girl, Kayla is all grown up! She's going to OJT in Shell starting today. We went to buy office clothes for her last weekend and it was so much fun! Soon, she will be going to the office for real! Wow! Imagine that? No more tuition! No more allowance!
One of my little dreams came true last month. A dream I thought will never ever happen... my darling, Thor, and I spent a night together in a far away place. I slept in his arms dreaming my little dreams and we woke up to the morning sun. Bliss.
One of my big nightmares came true last month. I had to re-home one of my babbies, Igor. He needed to be in a better home where he will have more freedom. I miss him a lot. He who kept my legs warm whenever I am in bed. He who always needed to have contact with my body. He who let me lay my head down on his back as he napped. My Igor. I weep whenever I look at his spot, the pillow tower. I weep when I eat and his face is not by my plate begging for a bite. I weep for him as I do not weep for the people who have left my life and so my friend observed. Why not? Igor loves me unconditionally. And I had to let him go... never to care for him until the day he dies. I will love him until the day I die.
My other babbies seem to know my grief and they crowd around me to offer comfort. My house is so quiet... no Igor barking. No hyper-active Pinscher cavorting and harassing the languid Shih Tzu pack.
My babbies... dog and human alike... to be loved til the day I die.
