I'm deeply saddened by the loss of a friend. Not to death, no.
Once upon a time, I had a friend who I thought would go places if she set her mind to it and not stray. I gave her advice and guidance like an older sister. Later on, when her career was zooming, she told me that she did listen and followed some of them which made me happy. Somehow, I felt she gave me credit to her success albeit a failed marriage.
Years passed and she went on to be a jet-setting, branded-clad, branded-bag-toting, diamond-studded big boss of a big company, the first Filipina to head a department full of ex-pats with Filipina maids, living in a posh condo with a doorman in a city that costs gazillions per square inch. I would brag about her to some friends because she really had gone a looooong way.
I went to stay with her when I visited the country she lives in and boy, was I impressed with her. I felt proud that she is what she is because I loved her dearly. I stayed in a room full of designer bags that I didn't even recognize since I have no interest in stuff I cannot afford. Then one night, she rummaged through her bags in search of something which turned out to be a ziploc of currencies. I helped search. It was my first time to touch some of those brands! They felt and smelled expensive as I am sure they are. But it was nowhere to be found. I shrugged thinking oh, maybe she just misplaced it... it's probably just taxi money... no big deal.
Days later, I asked her if she found it and she said no, and that she was going to consult a clairvoyant to find out who stole her hard-earned money. I thought that was a shocker... how can a modern woman like her even think a clairvoyant is credible when they all have only a 50% chance of being right? Then I suddenly realized I was one of her suspects! I was aghast! I may be poor but I am no thief. Hell, if I were to steal from her, I would not bother searching her bags just in case there are monies in there when glittery rocks are just strewn on her desk.
For weeks afterwards, I felt a heaviness in my heart. I did not hear from her nor did I try to contact her. I was hurt. I was insulted. I was disappointed that our friendship which I thought was special and forever would not be enough to immediately exclude me from her suspects.
Finally, I unfriended her on FB. I knew that even if she someday said hi and oh, the clairvoyant told her it was someone else, there is no redemption. Such an insult cannot save our friendship. All I have is my integrity and even if you are a beloved friend, it cannot be questioned like that.
It saddened me deeply... I have only a handful of real friends and now, I have one less.
